Sunday, February 28, 2010

Saying goodbye

One week from today, we will be on our way to St. Pete's for our final trip. On our way to pick up Marat. And as happy as I am, as excited as I am, as crazy as I am, this week is all about saying goodbye.

Today, we said goodbye to Scott's family. Next time we see them, we will be parents. Today, we said goodbye to good friends who will be taking care of our home while we are gone. Next time we see them, we will be parents. Tomorrow, I say goodbye to work. Next time I see everybody, I will be a parent. I even said goodbye to my "I dont wake up before 9 am on Sunday" rule today. After all, the next Sunday we are in NJ, we will be parents....And I assume Marat doesnt follow the 9 am rule (one could only hope).

I have lived 38 years on this earth, taking care of myself for almost half of them. And now, in just a few weeks, I am going to be taking care of a child (a toddler for gods sake!). That child will be depending on me for many things and for many years. How did THAT happen? When did i decide to become responsible for a little boy living in Russia whom I barely know? When do I officially say goodbye to that selfish part of me who has nobody to worry about except myself?

Its a strange transititon...maybe like giving birth, but without the hormones and the weight gain? One day, you are one person....the only one you have ever known and the next day (mid March to be exact) you go and pick up this 22 month old from an orphanage and you are a person that you can only hope to become. And oddly enough, on that very same day, as I cross a threshold into another life, Marat will be crossing his own threshold and saying goodbye to the only life he has ever known.

So until we land in russia one last time, goodbye for now. Its time to start the final journey of bringing Marat home.

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