We are home

Traveling to Russia: long
Being in Russia: emotional
Leaving Russia: exhausting
Meeting our son, Brody Marat Cargill: worth it all

Merry Christmas Marat

Today is Christmas Day 2009. In Russia, Christmas Day is celebrated on January 7, so today, was like any other normal day for us....sort of.

We officially accepted our referral of Brody Marat Cargill, which means in about 8 weeks, we will be returning to St. Pete's to pick up our son. Today was oddly enough, almost sunny. Is that a sign?

We had many things to do today...the notary's office, looking at apartments, getting a physical at the Russian medical clinic (I will explain that later) and of course, saying goodbye to Marat. As hard as it was (he walked right up to me today and hugged me! thats a first!), we cant believe we spent an hour on Christmas day with our son. We are parents now. We have a little boy. A little boy who lives far far away. Soon enough, we will be back.

Tomorrow, my birthday, December 26, we leave St. Pete's and fly home.

Merry Christmas Marat. We will have a stocking full of toys waiting for you next Christmas.

Remembering

There will be many things I remember about this trip...like getting off the plane in St Petes and some security guard taking Xray photos of each passenger. WTF?? Or driving to the Ministry of Education (which handles Russian adoptions) at 9 am on a cold blustery day, thinking "I am really in Russia. Why is it still pitch black outside?"

But what I will remember most is walking into Baby home #4 on Tuesday December 22 2009 at 4 pm and looking around at a clean well-kept "old school" building where my son lives. Ludmilla, his caretaker, greeted us at the door and made us put plastic booties on our feet. When we arrived at a play area, we needed to remove our boots and wait inside. I will always remember shaking like a leaf, thinking I was going to pass out. I had heard stories from others that I would feel this way, but I never imagined it would actually happen to me. My life was about to forever change. I was about to become a mom, in the strangest of ways.

And before I could think another thought, in walked Marat, with his blue eyes and blond hair. He looked at us, wondering who we were. We walked into the playroom and immediately his tears began. And all I could do was laugh, from relief, from joy, from days upon days of anxiety. Here we were, in Baby Home #4 with Marat, 2 days before Christmas.

I figured if he was crying, then it was ok for me to cry too.

And this day, I will always remember.

And so the journey continues..

...in Russia.

We are here. Tired, but safe and sound. We got in about 8 hours ago and love it. The hotel is great, the city is cool and the entire region is decorated for the holidays. Its beautiful.

We meet our boy tomorrow. And then, the real journey begins.

And so the journey begins....

...in Germany.

We are sitting in a Hilton hotel in Dusseldorf (where?!!) Germany because our flight to St Pete's was cancelled, due to one of the worst snowstorms in their recent history. I had a few meltdowns today, but thank God, Scott and I are travellers and our "traveling instincts" kicked in (although if i was such a world traveler, i shouldnt have had meltodwns right?)

Anyways, thanks to my ingenuity (I must say) we are in a nice Hilton hotel 10 miles (how many kilometers is that?) from the airport.

We are rebooked for a flight to St Petes tomorrow. We will keep you posted. Going to bed now, i have had 2 hours of sleep in 24 hours. Nice prep for parenthood.

Dear Marat

Dear Marat,

Today is December 17, 2009. According to the adoption world, our adoption agency and the Russian Ministry of Education, we are now one step closer to being legally able to adopt you. You are officially on the international adoption waiting list.

Last nite, as I tried to sleep, I realized it was already 8 am in Russia and that December 17th had already arrived. I wanted to be happy and thrilled because you are now so much closer to becoming our son! And yet, I felt so sad. Sad, because I felt your loss. Your birth mother, your birth father, and other biological family are gone away. They have a story Marat and they have their reasons that they had to goodbye. I have learned in my own short life that everything in our life happens for a reason, but why? What are the reasons? You will ask us and we may never know. But they decided it was best that you be given a new life with a new family, somewhere else in the world.

I promise you Marat, that I will do my best to find out all of the information I can about them, because you will ask me someday and I want to share with you how you came to be our son. I cannot promise you that I will have all of the answers, but we get one shot next week to find out what we can and so, we will do our best.

Now Marat, I don't expect you to be thrilled to meet us on Monday. Its pretty scary stuff, for all of us! Scott and I look different, smell different and we certainly talk different. But, we are ready to meet you and get to know who you are. We hope, as the week goes on, you will want to know a little more about us too.

In the meantime, sleep soundly and stay warm! It's in the low 20's (Fahrenheit that is!) in St Pete's, cloudy with some light snow. Its not much warmer in the US today, it is winter after all.

But in the midst of the dark freeze of the coldest season, there is sunshine. You will see the sun soon, Marat. It will be brighter than you could imagine.

I heard its supposed to warm our hearts and faces on Monday.

One week

We will be heading to St. Petes in one week. We have an overnight flight, through Germany on Lufthansa airlines. We arrive in St Petes at 430 pm, Russian time.

This week, I connected with another person who is adopting from Russia, through our same adoption agency. Her name is Michelle and her and husband live in Virginia. She is very sweet and will be traveling the same week as us. Again for the irony...she is my age, and its her first child..a little boy too. The international adoption world keeps getting bigger and bigger.

So on another note, I havent figured out how much info I will share on this blog. Scott and I have heard/read that its entirely possible that our emails/internet connections will be monitored while in Russia. While its possible that is a complete myth, leftover from the days of communism paranoia, we will play it safe and keep things on the down-low. You will know where we are and how we are, but probably not much past that, until we arrive home. I have also decided that I will not post ANY pics of anything other than sightseeing events...I dont need to get thrown into a Russian jail. I mean really, who can imagine ME, sitting in a russian jail? I would be so freaking cold and pissed off, that its not even funny.

One week til we see our son :)

this is it for the irony

Lets finish this off....

....as we were checking out of the hotel yesterday, we met somebody who adopted her daughter from St. Petersburg Russia, one year ago. We spent almost an hour talking to her.

Its like God was saying to us "just in case you didnt get that this was 'meant to be,' let me rub it in for you"

See you soon Marat.

Irony times 10?

So yea the weirdness continues...I went and got a massage today (I treated myself even though we have no money right now for splurges) and I picked up the Glamour magazine next to me in the waiting area.

One of the first articles I turned to was featuring Dr. Jane Aronson as one of Glamour's "Women of the Year." Dr. Aronson is the international pediatrician that we are using in our adoption proceedings. Not freaked out yet? Ok try this...

The front desk clerk at our hotel in Palm Springs California is from St. Petersburg, Russia. Yes, right from the heart of St. Pete's.

And oh yea, her daughter's name is Lisa.

Enough said.

The irony of it all

Today we are in Palm Springs, CA. As we flew to Arizona and made the 4 hour drive to CA, I mentioned to Scott that this would be our last trip together (not including trips to russia) without Marat for a long time.

After a very long, but sunny & peaceful day(and may i mention EASY day...no travel glitches at all!) we arrived at the La Quinta Spa and Resort. VERY POSH and very fancy...NOTHING at all that we would choose to pay for our on our own :) so thanks to Scott's job for this treat...LOL, they work him into the ground, he deserves this.

ANYWAYS, we walk into our room and the first thing I see is the coffee table. Sitting on that table is ONE magazine. That magazine is a tennis magazine. Who is on the cover? Marat Safin, a world famous tennis player. I stood there in silence looking at that magazine. I believe in fate.

Of course, throughout our adoption journey, there have been little signs and symbols that I have taken to heart. Everything happens for a reason.

But this??? What are the chances that we would...
check into a hotel room 2 weeks before we meet our son for the first time
and that on our last trip "alone" as a couple
sitting in front of us is a magazine that says "MARAT" in big bold letters??

What are the freaking chances? The chances are such: Marat is waiting for us. We are coming soon.